Where You Belong

In an aesthetic that is both inconsistent and unnerving, Dr. Amadeus Arkham describes his own journey into madness. Intertwined with the walks down the halls of his childhood home which he converted into an Asylum for criminally insane inmates is another story.

This story is set years later. The inmates have taken over Arkham's madhouse. There, Batman (I know, I know, but I love my graphic novels) finds his way inside and is forced to confront the questions of his own sanity.

Amadeus Arkham, as the story goes on drives himself mad hearing the sounds of laughter in his head and the  echoes of batwings flying around his large family mansion, that is now an asylum. One step at a time he begins killing and torturing inmates. Until, finally he is institutionalized in his own house. The same place he's been all of his life. The same place he has worked and had all of his memories, it's a place he belongs.

Meanwhile, Batman is introduced to his prison - surrounded by criminals that he placed there. While he fights for his life and peers into the twisted souls of his rivals, he is forced to wonder. Does he himself belong in the asylum? At one point, the Joker offers, "Just don't forget, if it ever gets to tough ... There's always a place for you here."

Between these two points of being insane and saving the world from insanity, that's where Batman lives. Is he crazy for doing what he's doing? Does that make him crazy on a similar level to the others he is fighting? Does his own set of personal demons haunt him enough to make him lose his mind?

While Batman is obviously a fictional character, the struggle depicted in Arkham Asylum: A Serious Place on Serious Earth (the story referred to above) is one that still hits home to a very human conflict. "Where do I belong?" or perhaps, "Who am I?" are penultimate questions. How you answer them determines so much of what you do and what your life looks like. Perhaps that's why so many people my age choose really ambiguous answers to those questions. Answers like, "I am a good person," or "I belong with my friends and loved ones." While those answers have merit, I find myself stupefied that anyone would consider those real answers to those questions. Those are answers that anyone would give.

 I wonder, what makes you unique? What makes you special? Who are you, really? Where do you belong?

I say all of that without mentioning my own struggles in this area. From time to time I've been known to flounder between decisions of where my deepest goals, dreams and commitments lie. Some are a given. Christine, my lovely wife, wins the battle for my affection and time. But what who and where I dream of being in ten years, that's a lot more difficult to articulate.

While, I ought to put as much space between him and myself as possible. I can't help but find an odd form of admiration for a guy who is known for not having great character or judgment - Ted Haggard. The reason is actually quite simple. After reading this article earlier today I'm deeply surprised at the man's sense of calling and his resilience. After becoming the picture of Christian failure for his generation Haggard took heartily to restoration and jumped straight back into pastoring a new church plant. Whether he ought to have done this is up for major debate. Yet I find myself admiring his drive to do the one thing he knows how to do, and he feels like he was built to do.

Like Batman at Arkham, should we wonder, to which category will we call home?

What bit of chaos do you like to rest your head on at night? What piece of madness drives you to work harder than you think you ought to? What makes you stay up at night?

Where do you belong? What makes the rest of the world look like madness and feels like home to you?

Irenaeus, the theologian from the second century wrote that, "The glory of God is man fully alive."

I wonder, what is it that makes you fully alive? What is it that makes you look through the disorder, the rush and hurry of life? What makes your heart race?

Might I suggest, follow God into a divine dream. Follow him into an adventure worthy of having. Do something.

"Enjoy yourself out there," the Joker says as Batman leaves Arkham Island for the real world, "In the Asylum."

Midnight Musings

Sometimes skill and substance combine to make something totally awesome. Like Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run. But sometimes simplicity and trickery combine to make something awesome. That's pretty much everything U2 has ever done.


I wonder from time to time if there is a challenge waiting for me. Am I just treading water?


Have you ever looked at old characteristics of yourself and compared yourself with them and found yourself wanting? I used to read more. I used to go out more. I used to be better at some things.


I find myself strangely content to be the bridge of support at this moment in my life.


The newest Taking Back Sunday album is edgy but pretty.


Some people listen to music and try to compare it to what it is like. I hate to admit I'm usually one of those people. Some things that some people say and do shouldn't be lumped into a category, classified and forgotten. The old school modern philosopher inside of me says things should be neat, orderly, and understood. But the postmodern screaming in my soul tells me to blur lines, and let things that used to be in their own categories bleed into each other.


Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. - Proverbs 13:12


Sometimes I imagine that my imagination is the product of somebody else's imagination. 


In case of zombie apocalypse break glass ... if you want them to know where you are. 


Men are all born with innate desires to explore, conquer, rescue, destroy, kill, win, dominate, and all around kick butt. 


Women are all born with innate desires. I'd elaborate on them, but I'm a man. It'd all be conjecture anyway. 


You know what's awesome? Explosions are awesome. 


Frank Stallone had a reasonably successful musical career. Problem is, he has to go to his mother with his success looking for a pat on the back and she won't shut up about his brother, Sly. 


You ever wonder what it would have been like to have been Jesus' brother. Talk about having big shoes to fill. "Your brother never lied to me," "Your brother could get us some more booze cheap and easy," Your brother could raise him from the dead." 


You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?


Do you want to know where I got these scars?


In Alan Moore's The Killing Joke the idea is posed that we are all just one really bad day away from becoming a vigilante like Batman or a lunatic killer like the joker. The wrong set of circumstances could take any one of us from comfort to chaos. I wonder, if pressed would you go crazy to save the world or destroy it?


I can't sleep.